Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Patriots Cave Forecast & Update

Greetings sistren and foul heathen. Why does Joel the K always have a happy greeting for the ladies, and a not so nice greeting for the males? Answer: Because women are God's Magnum Opus, God's masterpiece work of art, God's Sistine Chapel so to speak. Just scroll down until you see the beautiful picture of Ma Radha. Exquisite! Women are proof that we are not here by accident. That is why I always have a happy greeting for the ladies, mothers, sisters, and daughters. Male apes on the other hand, are savages at best. It is true that we closely resemble orangutans and/or certain gorillas. And THAT, my savage readers, is why the male primates always receive a primates greeting here in Patriots Cave. F.Y.I. +++++++ Welcome, welcome. Now on to the serious business. Gerald Celente has released his Trends Research Report for Autumn 2009. I advise you to read it. You can find it for the next 24 hours or so down in Patriots Cave "NEWZ-BLAST". Celente is dead on balls people. The guy knows his stuff. He predicted 911. He predicted the collapse of 2008. He has been dead-on with many, many forecasts. Patriots Cave takes the reports issued by Mr. Celente at Trends Research very, very seriously. Celente is forecasting a major 911 size terror event to occur in 2010. He is predicting $2,000 per ounce gold. He is predicting civil strife, tax revolt, bank closures, hyper-inflation and runaway unemployment. Celente is saying that the jobs which have gone away, are gone forever. They are not coming back. American industry has been packed up and shipped overseas. Our service based economy is about to take a hit in the mouth too. You should read it yourself. There is much more. +++
Alex Jones released his latest film "Fall of the Republic" on Wednesday. Patriots Cave subscribes to Alex Jones' "PrisonPlanet-TV", which enabled us to view the film the minute it was released. Unfortunately, there were so many people logged on, that Patriots Cave was only able to download 35 minutes of the film at it's debut. The first 35 minutes are tremendous. It is going to go mega-viral approaching dark matter for sure. Patriots Cave is set to run the remainder of the film upon completion of this post. If you would like to see it, just go to YouTube and type in "Alex Jones, Fall of the Republic". Or go to and order your super high-def DVD for around twenty dollars. If you want to know what is going on, you need to see this film. Alex Jones documents EVERYTHING. This IS NOT conspiracy theory. Jones takes actual news, statements by the globalists themselves, de-classified intel, and rock solid information, then he presents the big picture to the viewer in a way that will get your heart pumping, get your adrenaline going, get your blood boiling, and make you realize that the time for apathy IS OVER. For Pete's sake brethren and sistren, if you have not seen Alex Jones films "ENDGAME", "TERRORSTORM", "THE OBAMA DECEPTION" and "FALL OF THE REPUBLIC", you need to either take the time and see them within the next 7 days, or just admit you are a meek little cloned sheep who does what it is told to do and doesn't ask any questions. Seriously. Our nation and our world are being hi-jacked RIGHT NOW. We are on the verge of the Great Depression Pt. II, combined with World War III ! You can't just sit there going on like everything is howdy-Dewdy. If you are not storing away food, water, first-aid, herbal medicines, and necessities of life right now, then you had better get your ass in gear. +++ Lindsey Williams came on Alex Jones' show this week. Lindsey is a pastor who was chaplain for an oil interest. He became a confidante' to some Illuminati insiders. Sometimes Lindsey is privy to insider information. Lindsey's intel has been solid so we have no reason to doubt him. Well, this week he was reporting on a sick-bed confession made by a top Illuminati figure. This Masonic figure told Lindsey that we are looking at a two year time-frame. Within two years, we will not recognize America. Within two years, America will be full blown communist like RED China. In less than two years, a war will begin in Iran, and will spread across the entire planet. Lindsey said that the Illuminati figure told him that gold and silver would be the only currency or money with any real buying power at all. The dollar will be for wiping up you know what. It will be worthless. +++ Another forecast which has gained considerable legitimacy is "The Web-Bot" project. It is an extremely complicated algorithmic prognostication module used in the formation of detailed forecasts regarding world events. You can purchase the latest report at "" or you can go to this link to hear the designers talk all about this amazing "web-bot":
Anyway, the web-bot's predictions are matching up with Celente and Lindsey Williams very closely. Patriots Cave is not advising you to put your head in your hands and weep. Patriots Cave is suggesting that now is the time for serious work. Now is the time to quit wasting your days watching stupid ass television shows. Stop wasting money. Stop eating expensive foods. Stop being a clone. WAKE UP! Were you born to just consume products like a dumb ass? Is that what your purpose is? WTF? I'm telling anyone who lives near me, who knows me, who is related to me: You better start putting some soup away, we are GOING into the Great Depression pt. II RIGHT NOW!! I have been trying to tell you this was coming but you did nothing. Take what time we have left, and go on full emergency status rationing. Buy NOTHING luxury. Buy NOTHING for taste pleasure. Buy simple staples only. Stop spending money on bullshit. You are not going to ignore what I say, hoping I'm wrong, hoping it will all get better. And then when the economy utterly and totally collapses, and the shelves are empty. Think that I am going to be able to kick out cans of food. No. This is not going to happen. I am telling you NOW. We are going into THE GREAT DEPRESSION PART II. People are going to starve. There will be no food. There will be riots, quarantines, and strife. For God's sake, start stocking up on soup and beans. I cannot over-emphasize this. My family is going without. We skimp on Christmas. We do not buy meat to eat. We do not go to fast-food. We do not splurge. For gifts we buy the kids survival equipment instead of trinkets from China and $300 video games. Do you know how many cans of beans you can get for $300 ! Gawd. I'm done. I am just in freakin shock when I look around, and see people going on like everything is sweeter than Miss Lucy's pussy. Well listen up. Miss Lucy's pussy is about to be hunting mice for dinner, because the store shelves are going to be empty. SOON.


Ron said...

Man you hit it right on the head.

Joel the K said...

Thanks Ron. I appreciate your feedback very much. You are always welcome in the Patriots Cave.