Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Joel the K's Apocalypse Relief Plan

Greetings ladies and fungi, welcome to Patriots Cave, the blog banned in all 50 states, and some counties. Ah, a problem has plagued my peace of mind for a few years now, until now. I have a solid plan and solution to that problem. You might have the same problem, or very near to the same. Therefore Patriots Cave will share a simple yet incredible solution with you. First let me describe the nature of our problem.
The problem is this: How many of us have neighbors, family, friends, cousins, and siblings who just don't get it? They can't or won't see the writing on the wall. They can't see that hyperinflation and famine are inevitable consequences of the actions which have already occurred. They aren't stocking up on food, but they are close enough relatives or friends to know that you ARE stocked up. They know that you have food. Now, most of us do not have even 50% of the amount of food we know we need and should have. Most of us are making sacrifices in order to put some canned food in the pantry, or some dehydrated food in the survival stocks. And we have no intention of feeding Kliff and Karen Klone and their brat kids Katie and Kyle Klone when TSHTF.
Why should we feed the Klone family? We warned them numerous times that they should stop living like rich people, living on debt, spending money they don't have. We told them to start putting canned food away, and other day to day necessities. So when it gets down to the nitty gritty, and Kevin Klone with his wife Katie are at our door asking for "just a little food", IT AIN'T HAPPENING. And I'll be pulling my cat inside too. They won't be making cat soup out of my Brahma either. I suggest you do the same. People WILL be in the street, FIGHTING over stray dogs and cats to eat. My point is, Kyle and Kitty Klone will not be sitting at my table. They should be collecting food NOW.
But what about close family, who we love dearly? What about when THEY show up, ribs showing, sick, dehydrated, crying, hugging you around your legs, sitting on the ground, looking up at you with tears rolling down the cheeks, and your loved one, your beloved, says, "I'm hungry". I don't know about you brethren and sistren, but Joel the K ain't that "STONE COLD" Randy Macho-Man Savage enough to shut that door leaving that baby sister sitting on the porch starving. THAT is the problem which has plagued me ever since I began stocking and stacking in earnest. But now I have the solution. And I am totally freakin PUMPED about it because it is one of those tried and true blue things that just resonates in my heart, telling me it is good and holy. Here is one solution to the problem of how we can help feed the ones we love, when the shelves at the store go bare. Of course there are other solutions. But this one is the one I am doing. There could be many modifications and variations to this plan. But here is my version, and I urge you to do the same.
Here is what I'm doing: I ordered 25 lbs of Bloody Butcher heirloom corn from for a price that I could not pass up. Bloody Butcher sells WHOLESALE at $1,100 per 100 lb. bag. That is the wholesale price at the seed exchange. When a person buys a few packs from the Amish or from an heirloom seed seller who deals in little packets instead of bulk, they sell as high as $48.00 per pound. So like I was saying, I purchased 25 lbs of highest quality Bloody Butcher for $125 plus shipping. Now here is the essence of the plan. I am growing 2 Bloody Butcher corn patches in addition to the gardens I normally grow. With the massive corn harvest, I will make GIGANTIC batches and batches of pinole which is the perfect food. It is pronounced pee-no-lay, at least that is how I pronounce it. It is parched corn, ground to a course powder. Pioneers have testified that a 6 pound bag of pinole could keep a man strong as a bull and healthy as a young ox for as many months. Did you follow that? A 6 lb. bag of this amazing concentrated food would feed a grown mountain man for 6 months if need be! Can you think of a food where you could carry a 1 year supply in your backpack without falling over?!
So that is my plan in a nutshell. I'm going to grow a nice crop of Bloody Butcher, dry the corn, and make pinole out of a large portion of it. Oh, and get this. Since all the water has been taken out of the corn from drying and parching, it will store almost forever. I have heard it will store 20-30 years from several different old timers who know from experience.
You see? When shelves go bare, power grids fail, and food supplies cannot be bought for any amount of money, I will have concentrated nutritious food to offer loved ones who are starving because they did not heed the warnings, or read the signs of the times. And I'll be putting some away for my little tribe too of course. I am very happy about this plan because I get to put my energy into it. I get to get out there with my shovel and DO SOMETHING. I'm going to make enough pinole to last for a long time. And another beautiful facet to this gem of a plan, is that since this Bloody Butcher is heirloom corn, I will save a dry kernels from each bumper crop, to plant future crops, and to give to neighbors so they can grow Bloody Butcher and make pinole too. Now of course we would not want to eat nothing but pinole every day for a year. But it is nice to know that if push came to shove, we COULD, and we would stay strong and healthy too. Check out this link, it tells how the pioneers relied on pinole to survive in the mountains for months: Really check it out cousins, don't blow this link off. It is Kurt Saxon's absolutely fantastic website So there you have it, Joel the K's Economic Collapse Food Relief for loved ones plan. Like I said, you could modify this plan a bit and do many different things. The bottom line is you'll be converting 25 lbs of Bloody Butcher into a concentrated super-food called pinole, 6 pounds of which could keep you strong for 6 months. Or you could buy the 25 lbs of Bloody Butcher and make 25 pounds of pinole out of it right away. That would keep you strong and healthy for 2 years all by itself. It is unbeatable, hands down. Here is the link to so you can make a real survival plan of your own. Every survivalist family should do this as the ultimate super long-term emergency food plan, and as an option for helping out others when TSHTF. For Patriots Cave this is Joel the K, over and out.


Outraged Patriot said...

What a GREAT idea! Solutions-thats what I like and this IS a solution. I too worry about my friends and family. I know I could not turn them away and this fits the bill. Give em enough to survive on and a bag full of seeds and they can then learn to take care of themselves. Thanks for this wonderful idea Joel! I am definately buying a bunch of bloody butcher corn now.

Gary said...

Joel the K your bloody butcher seeds is a bloody good idea, today I bought an old cast iron pot belly stove at a garage sale & asked if any locals were familiar with those seeds; as many of my neighbors are Yaqui I wasn't that surprised that most have used or are quite familiar with them. A short walk behind my house is a cattle ranch of over 200 head that sells fresh milk & cheese & a stones throw is the sea of Cortez which supplies fresh fish in abundance & 10 min. drive are local farms that sell organic fruit & veggies grown year round thanks to climate. Trying for as much self sufficiency as my meager budgets permits & am always grateful for new practical solutions as well.

Joel the K said...

Ew that Gary really knows how to burn my beans, talking about those crystal blue ocean waters, sandy warm beaches, sea gulls and mesmorizing rythms of the sea of Cortez. Just kidding Gary, but man, it sure sounds sweet down there brother. I'll be there in 3 days. Have a Corona on ice for me will you? Ha ha. Enjoy my friend, enjoy. It brings me peace just to imagine your stomping grounds.

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