Greetings ladies and dirtbags, welcome to The Patriots Cave, the website that put the hot in Hottentot, the blog that put the ape in Apricot, the blog with the nuts that you ain't got. +++
You may have noticed there has been a massive delay in between posts lately. I don't know what to make of it. Maybe I'm suffering from blogitus. Maybe you can't teach an old blog new tricks. It could be the sign of Blog and Magog, who knows? I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell you what everybody's thinking but nobodies saying. We're bored. We're freakin bored. It was all supposed to come down by now, only it didn't. The big financial collapse, Armageddon, The Summer of Hell! The Summer of Hell was hyped up TWICE, once for 2009 and again for 2010. Here it comes everybody, hold on to your dicks, it's the SUMMER OF HELL! (a lonely bird tweets in the background, the faint sound of a light breeze is heard) Hell must have frozen over.
Yeah man, the survivalists are bored, and tired of preppin for the great battle between a giant 300 foot tall Alex Jones, and legions of flying Nephilim NWO grey-alien demonlords of the CFR, their Trilateral Commission banners caught high in the apocalyptic breeze. GET READY! They're getting ready to attack Iran! It'll be WW-III !! Well they been "gettin ready" to attack Iran for 5 or 6 years now. What's say we give that one a rest? Along with the imminent arrival of the "killer" bees. Oh and don't forget extraterrestrial disclosure! It's IMMINENT! Any time now, the government is going to announce that aliens are real and have been making contact with us since 1947. Yeah Bullhsit. It's wishful thinking. We WISH the government would announce that there are flying extraterrestrials from the Pleiades, but it ain't gonna happen G.I., forgetaboutit. And there ain't gonna be a war with Iran either. What? "Joel the K, we never said we wanted a war with Iran." Yeah but you were thinking it. Be honest. Every day when you checked the syndicated news-wires to see what the latest doom and gloom was, you expected to see it. You WANTED to see it. You WANTED the economy to collapse. And TEOTWAWKI to happen. You secretly, in the most secret part of your mind, wanted a 9.0 earthquake to completely annihilate New York City or Los Angeles. No? You didn't want that? Are you sure? Tell me your heart wouldn't have started beating fast upon catching that first glimpse of the headline: "NEW YORK CITY DESTROYED BY WORST EARTHQUAKE IN HISTORY". Tell me you wouldn't have adjusted your butt, to get a better position, better posture, from which to relish the apocalyptic chaos. "Oh it's terrible, just awful." ....."Tern on CEE EN EN beby, an git me a beer wood-ja?"......"kids, g-awn outside an'play, all hell jus broke loose".
Eh. Years of preppin, stockin, saving, imagining RED DAWN scenarios playing out in the streets of your home town. You know you want it. Come on now. At least a part of you does. And why not? Life can be so damn monotonous, so boring, so meaningless, with the endless bills, endless punching of the time-clock. Hell, of course RED DAWN in your home town sounds exciting. A chance to see what you are REALLY made of. A real test. Trial by fire. At least you wouldn't go to the grave like just another consumer, worker, citizen-slave, neutered of any instinctive fighting spirit. Wasting away in some sterile, formaldehyde smelling "retirement" community. At least you would die a good death man. Don't tell me you haven't had these thoughts, because Joel the K is alot of things, but he ain't naive. And there's nothing wrong with thoughts like this. It just means your soul is still with you, and hasn't been ripped away by intercision.
Anyway, the economy DID collapse brethren and sistren. So the one's who predicted an economic collapse were correct. We are now living in an artificial reality. Like in "The Matrix", when Morpheus shows Neo that the year is not 1998 or whatever, but instead was like 2059 or something. It's just like that, and I can prove it.
A few weeks ago the DJIA dropped a thousand points in two hours or so. COLLAPSE. But did it matter? No. The television merely announced that it was a mistake, and it's not a problem. "Nothing to see here, move along." +++ Look, in the 1930s, a 1,000 point drop in 2 hours would have caused a bank run, which would have led to a panic, which would have led to a mad-hatter sell off, which would have been the beginning of a Great Depression. But not now. Not in the new-ways evil order of the Illuminated World Leaders. Via technology, aka "the matrix", they just smoothed it over. Nothing to see here alright. We are in an economic recovery, didn't you know? Oh, both your neighbors are out of work? That's because this is a JOBLESS recovery Neo, damn son, what's wrong with you?
You get it yet G.I.? There ain't gonna be no Summer of Hell, because they ain't gonna put it on Television!