Thursday, August 12, 2010

How To Rescue Your Family Using Time-Travel

Send your family a rescue ship through time
     Hey now brethren and sistren, welcome to The Patriots Cave. I am Joel the K. We now have 861 days left on the countdown to 12/21/2012. It's still far enough away for scoffers to boldly laugh about, but these numbers will steadily drop off in concert with the decrease in days remaining on the countdown. Scoffers will be very quiet by the time we reach Autumn of 2012. By that time though, it will be too late for preparations. The store shelves will be empty. The banks will be closed. The gasoline will be gone. The power grid will be out of order do to our local star flaring up as solar max approaches. The sick and dying will be triaged. Only the young and strong will even be considered for medical treatment. Euthanasia by injection will be a daily occurrence. Hospitals will be understaffed as doctors and nurses flee to the mountains and forested hills. Medical supplies will be guarded like Brinks trucks are today. Things will be dog eat dog. Sympathy and mercy will come in the form of a quick death. Do not expect that some heroic government agency will take care of your family when you cannot. Remember Katrina? What happened in the hospitals? What happened to the police? Did help arrive quickly? No.
    Consider the fact that the situation during Katrina was optimal for maximum help. Right? The rest of the USA was still in good shape. Airports everywhere else were open. Doctors and nurses in the rest of the USA were up and running. In other words, it was an isolated disaster situation. Imagine what it would be like if the rest of the country (and world) was facing their own disaster at the same time. Do you think help would arrive within 30 minutes? 3 hours? 3 days? 3 months? No, there will be no help from anywhere except the past. That's right, help will come to those who send help NOW. It's called preparation. Those who fail to prepare, will fail to survive. So, become a time-traveller, send your family the help it needs NOW, then when you need it most, help will be there.
    Joel the K earns minimum wage, which in Ohio is around seven bucks an hour. My point is, if I can prepare a little, you can too, even if you are pressed for cash, so don't cop out with the "I don't have enough money" line. If you are poor, then you will have to redo your budget. You might also try to make some extra cash doing odd jobs, having yard sales, selling stuff on e-bay, getting a weekend job at McDonalds, or any number of other ways.
    Okay, let's say you are Joe Sixpack, you have a wife and 2 kids, and you just now at this very moment decided that you should prepare for hard times ahead, be it Depression, 2012, Doomsday, Great Tribulation, or simply the unknown. Where do you begin? What comes first? Let's examine your options.
    Think about your needs. Food, water, warmth, hygiene, protection and more. Look around. Imagine what your local area would be like during a disaster. What items will be most in demand? If you live near a freshwater lake, then you shouldn't need to stock up on hundreds of gallons of water. Just get a good water filtration system, such as a "Big Burkey". If you cant afford a 200 dollar Burkey, then make your own. Just Google "make your own Burkey for 40 bucks".
    Get yourself a decent airgun. Walmart has .22 caliber pellet guns for around $100. Get a few thousand pellets too, best if you choose .22 caliber hollow-point pellets, as they expand after penetrating small animals. With your airgun you can bag small game like groundhogs, rabbits and squirrels. It will also serve as a defensive weapon in a pinch. A .22 caliber hollow-point travelling at 1,000 feet per second would do some serious damage to the neck of an attacker. When I think about using airguns for defense, I compare a leathery, tough groundhog to the relatively soft human neck. If a .22 caliber pellet will penetrate and kill a tough, leathery groundhog, then imagine what that pellet would do to a human neck. A criminal attacker would be forced to reevaluate his intentions once he came to grips with the fact that the blood which once supplied oxygen to his brain, is now squirting all over the ground instead. Yes indeed, a .22 caliber airgun is a solid investment when preparing for tribulation. For more about airguns and airgun survivalism, check out this fantastic website:
   Of course you will need to cover your food needs. I like to stock up on very cheap foods like instant grits. 50 servings costs three dollars. I also like wheat. Organic wheat is best. Store it in 5 gallon buckets with an oxygen absorber and sprinkle a handful of diatomic earth powder into the wheat to eliminate any little bugs that might have snuck in during packaging. I like the big #10 cans of foods like baked beans, corn, pineapples, peaches, green beans and so on. The #10 cans cost around four dollars. For meat, I like canned chicken. I buy it on sale. It comes in cans the same size as tuna cans. It costs one dollar per can when it's on sale. I also like tuna as well. Tuna has a very long storage time. Always be sure your canned food is dated "best if used by" 2012, 2013 or 2014. Don't buy canned food that has a date of 2010 or 2011.
    Don't forget heirloom vegetable seeds. This is crucial for what Big John Lipscomb has coined a "long term food solution". Heirloom seeds are exactly that, a long-term food solution, because unlike the crappy seeds from your local garden center or Wall-mark, heirloom seeds produce fertile seeds which can be planted the next season. This creates a self-sustaining food factory of sorts. Get heirloom seeds at . If you smoke, better get yourself some tobacco seeds too. Tobacco will be worth ALOT during crisis times, so if you have room, go ahead and start learning to grow this cash crop now.
   Get your family a very large tent from an Army surplus outlet. Get extra stakes and tie-down ropes too. Go to Goodwill and Salvation Army thrift stores to get your extra warm clothing like sweaters and pants and stuff. Don't but the fancy, expensive clothing. Go for real wool sweaters. You'll find them at the thrift store for two bucks. Check out the pots and pans lane while you are there. Put yourself together a decent camping mess kit. A pot, a skillet, big spoon and stuff, everything you will need to cook a meal on a campfire. I put my mess kit together for 8 bucks I think it was. I bought it all second-hand from the thrift store. My pots are all high quality steel and copper and ceramic coated. Don't buy that "non-stick" Teflon crap. I have read that it causes cancer. I don't doubt it either. My ceramic coated skillet is better than any Teflon, and it was made 40 years ago. So there.
   This article is not the be-all end-all, but you get the idea. Use garage sales, thrift shops, Goodwill, do it yourself kits and Army surplus outlets to get your family ready for 2012. Send yourself help NOW, while you still can. Your family will love you for it. For this is Joel the K over and out.

1 comment:

Trini Airguns said...

I never thought of it as time travel. But clearly, it is: using the present to deliver training, equipment and supplies to the future.

Another excellent, thought-provoking post Joel.

Thanks for the mention.