Tuesday, August 17, 2010

World War III

The Patriots Cave Has Raised PATCON to PATCON II
Hey now brethren and sistren, welcome to The Patriots Cave, I am Joel the K. The Patriots Cave is moving the PATCON status posture from PATCON IV to PATCON II. PATCON II means massive technotronic Deathwar is imminent. The Patriots Cave has collected intel regarding certain prerequisites for World War. 8 of 10 prerequisites have reportedly been met on the global stage. The Patriots Cave is forecasting an 82.5% chance of World War III being initiated within the next 187 hours. The clock is ticking. Jets are scrambling, wives are crying, generals are plotting. Israel has formulated a military strike plan against Iran. Iran has advanced anti-missile missiles in place. South Korea and American forces are maneuvering 80,000 troops in anticipation of hostilities from Kim Jung Il's mighty Northern Command. North Korea has issued South Korea and the USA an ultimatum, they have promised to unleash a merciless all-out "sacred" attack against the South and the U.S.A.
North Korean Super-Soldiers On Parade
   In addition to the situation in the Korean Theatre of Ops, Israel is said to have one week with which to strike Iran's atomic bomb material processing facilities, before it is too late, and Iran becomes a nuclear superpower, wielding the dreaded ATOMIC BOMB. Will Israel attack in time? Will the ancient almost mythical land of Iran beat the clock, and acquire the evil King of all weapons? The deadly ATOMIC BOMB MISSILE? Will South Korea and the U.S. forces launch a sneak attack against Kim Jung Il and his legions of deadly M2002 SUPERTANKS?  And what of Kim Jung Il? Will he make good on his promise to launch salvo after salvo of super-death missiles? These are the questions being asked by BILLIONS of human beings on planet Earth this very day. Hence the need to change the PATCON level from PATCON IV to the dreaded PATCON II. Pray we do not face the unthinkable position of being forced to raise the PATCON status to PATCON I, known to billions of The Patriots Cave readers as TOTAL WAR, and/or MEGADEATH.   
   Millions of you have e-mailed me asking how Israel stacks up against Iran. The Patriots Cave unmanned supersonic aircraft DRONE piloted by Max the orange Homegain gorilla has been so kind as to supply us with the latest numbers assessing the military muscle of both Iran and Israel. Max the orange homegain gorilla risked his life to provide this intel. Here it is:
Troop numbers: Israel reports 513,000 troops. Iran reports 540,000 troops.
Combat aircraft: Israel boasts 875 combat aircraft. Iran has less than half that number at 306 combat aircraft.
Attack helicopters: Israel reports apx. 200 attack helicopters. Iran possesses 50 Cobra attack helicopters.
Tanks: Israel shakes the ground with 3800 tanks. Iran has 1600 main battle tanks.
Armored fighting vehicles (like a Bradly armored fighting vehicle). Israel has over 6,000 AFVs. Iran has roughly 2,000 AFVs.
Artillery pieces: Israel has 2,100 artillery pieces. Iran has 3,200 artillery pieces.
Ballistic missiles: Israel reports 150 Jericho I-II-and IIIs. Iran reports over 300 ballistic missiles.
Navy: Israel has 3 submarines. Iran has 3 submarines. Although Israel's subs are highly advanced nuclear powered vessels. Iran's 3 subs are conventional powered. Nevertheless, Iran does have 3 submarines.
Israel has 68 other naval vessels. Iran has 85 other naval vessels. Iran's navy is considered extremely formidable with the Persian Gulf region, compared to other nations in the region.
Will North Korea Launch The Atomic Bomb Missile?
Chemical weapons: Israel is believed to possess chemical weapons. Iran is known to possess MASSIVE quantities of nerve gas, mustard gas, blister agents. Iran is nearly 100% self-sufficient now. It can produce it's own chemical weapons, along with just about everything else, including weapons systems, guns, spare parts, space-ships, satellites, medicine, and is now working on nuclear power.

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